Cyn
It is so easy to look at someone and make judgments.  I do it; I see someone that is "fat" riding in a motorized chair and think -"really, I wish I had their problems."  I am assuming that it is just a matter of over eating. Instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt.  For all I know they have some medical condition - could even have MS.  I don't know.  That is my point - do not assume the worst - lets start assuming the best in people.  I get the judgmental looks just about everyday and I don't even have to be in public.  I give the "look" myself everyday - if you ask my husband :).  I've been on my segway and have had little old women tell me to "get out of the store" or "I've got some nerve to be on that in here endangering people."  I've had young men tell me "that's taking the easy way out."  What they are doing is assuming that I am on my segway for fun instead of transportation.  They would feel differently if they knew I needed it to walk.  They might be thankful that they are still walking themselves.  At the very least they would not tell me to "get out."

With my MS some days are harder than others and I do not like to focus on that or announce it to my family and friends.  Instead I just "hang out".  It might take all my energy to get dressed in the morning so I'll sit for the next couple of hours reading, watching TV, facebook, or listening to music, I might fall asleep.  I know that there is laundry to be done, bathrooms to be cleaned, food to be made, dishes to be put up...the list goes on. I know the list. Sometimes I forget the list and I do not mind that!   Knowing the list does not make it easier for me to get it done.  I am not ignoring the list. I am not just "sitting there and doing nothing."  I know it looks like I am doing nothing.  Please do not assume the worst - assume the best - think "I know her, she would not just sit there unless she needs too."  I know this is hard, it is hard for me too.  The really hard part is knowing when to ask and say "how long do you need because we need you around here" or "I have not seen you lately, it is time to get out of the house."  It is o.k. to remind me to keep on pushing just remember that it is o.k. if I can not "keep on" right now.

ASSUME THE BEST - but do not be fooled :)

i should note that my neurologist has said that my MS has not changed in the past year - all my issues have come after being knocked down at office max.  dr wahls' program was working wonders for me and I have to get back to that!

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Cynthia
a couple of weeks ago Dr Wahls contacted me to see how I was doing.  Well, not so good... I have let many things go from MS to worse :).  I know I have MS, you know I have MS, we all know that MS is a pain, in many ways not just physical and I have let it be the main thing in my life for the past 8 months. Wow, I did not realize it was that long... I did not realize how far down I went... I did not realize how easy it is let the days slip by and become weeks, months - but not years.  I stop now and start the journey back to fighting!  Ok, just a little movement in the right direction.  I have to fill out some daily logs on what I am eating - how I am getting daily nutrients, how I am exercising, relaxing-meditating, and massage.  So for the last 5 days I have been on the slow road to eating the things I should.  I am juicing, eating sea weeds, kale, organ meets, and oils (hemp or flax).  I stopped doing the "normal" things I used to do daily to get better after the fall.  I didn't go so far as eating "crap" however, I did stop eating everything I needed and stopped taking vitamins.  I also stopped the muscle stim and everything else I was doing.  Basically, I was (or am) doing daily things for my son...that is about it.  Not for myself, not for my husband, not for my dog... just enough to be able to sleep at night.  Now Dr Wahls, and my husband have called me on it.  I don't like it, makes me mad...however, a lot of things are "making" me mad these days...so what's new.

One positive things to come out of the last 8 months (there might be more than one) is that it shows me that eating right, exercise (even the very little I can do), taking time for my mental health daily works!  I was so very much better in December of last year.  So it is worth the hard journey back.  No matter how slow I am going to embark on it.  (I say that today and I hope I will say it tomorrow). choices choices choices (blah, blah, blah... words are words we will see what my actions are)

Today my actions are eating well, calling my PC doctor to get some mental health help, getting ready for my dogs birthday, enjoying  my family, being thankful.





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Cyn
OK, it has been a longtime since I have written on here.  I came home from my mom's January 3rd and was feeling so great!  I was relaxed, walking better, stronger, happy to be with my boys!  I was missing my mom and my daughter, but I was (and am still) happy that they are warm and well in Florida.  I came home to our house being uninhabitable due to the flood at Thanksgiving.  Fortunately for us my mother-in-law is putting us up!  I was feeling so full of life that I decided to go to Office Max and  get some supplies to put our house in order.  I was walking into the store (with my walker) and thinking "wow, do I feel great and strong!"  I walked to the front of the store, the sliding doors opened and I continued on through...WELL, I should of continued on through, however, their doors slammed shut- right on me.  Hit me a couple of times - knocking me over and down.  They knocked me out of the store and my walker in the store.  When I got some sense back I was lying on the ground looking into the store at my walker thinking "what the hell!"  Oh My,  what am I going to do now?  I had nothing to pull myself up with and I could not believe I was on the ground!!  finally someone noticed me (how long I was lying there I don't know) and came out to help me.  

The story goes on - I hated it and hate thinking about it so I am going to stop writing about it. However, I suffered a concussion and neck problems that are still haunting me today!   The worst part is the emotional changes in my life since then!!  I have post concussive things going on i.e. tired and very quick to anger.  Also, my confidence is gone and my desire to go and do things is gone.  I am having a hard time seeing the "bright" side of life at the moment - so I am taking a break from here.  Typing is too hard anyways, my arm is heavy and numb... 
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Cyn
HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I was home with my mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephew and tons of food and drinks.  I stuck to my Dr Wahls diet and had turkey, salad and yams.  Everyone else had the potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, and gravy.  I had enough and I am full!!  Everyone else had pies and bars - all kinds of pies - I had wonderfully dark chocolate.  It really is enough food and I am very thankful for the positive changes I have had with my physical self.  Worth not eating everything.  I am sure that if I wanted to I could of looked up paleo thanksgiving and made more things for me to eat, however, I enjoyed my limited part and did not mind the limited food.

I have been working out in the pool and gym.  I really can not do the exercises like the machines are supposed to be used, but even my limited movements are helping. My balance is awesome and I feel great.
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Cyn
I've been here three weeks and I'm doing good.  I am working on meditating, doing a bible study, working out. I am still eating Dr Wahls way and doing well on that.  I am getting in the pool, which is funny because all I can do is float.  I am a floater - good thing.  Lately I have been able to get my feet under me to stand up in the pool though - that's good.  I all so ride the bike and do a little weights.  It is helpful.  However, the most helpful is acupuncture, I am loving it.
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Cyn
I've been here one week.  I hung out with my family for the first three days and have just started to focus on everything I need to be doing.  I went to the farmers market and got veggies and tea, I went to the epecieri and got more veggies and a little meat, then finally to the bulk barn for organic oil, nuts,sprillina, and everything else.  So it is a go from here on out!  I'll keep you posted
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Cyn
I am heading to my childhood home for at least a month.  It is not a vacation or a break it is a time for intense work on my MS.  My family and I have decided that it would behoove us all if I focused on myself for awhile.  I am going to take the time to do my exercise,  muscle stimulation, meditation, and diet.  I have been doing these things, some better than others, however, I have also taken every opportunity to not do them.  I must admit that I would choose to be with my kids and husband and do whatever they were doing instead.  So I am going to remove myself from all temptations and focus on me winning this battle and walking in the door on my return!  I am a little concerned that I wont do everything I need to do - but I have to believe that I will.  I am not going to take this time a way from my family and not give it my all.  I do believe that through work and the grace of God I will be walking, running, riding, paddling, climbing, playing ball, and whatever else I want to be doing I will be doing.  (sometimes it is the things everyone takes for granted - like knowing that you are going to be able to walk to the bathroom.  Having as much water to drink as you want no matter where you are... you get the idea)  Keep me in your thoughts and I will keep you posted as to how it is all going.
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